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The Omnifork by Kevin N. Supple
(Steel, "Waterball" launcher, Helmet, Bent Laminated Wood, Fan Motor with Blades, Water Bottles, Assorted Hoses, Cable, LED Christmas Lights, Squeegee Handle, Springs, March 22nd, 2011)
(Sculpture made for Intermediate Sculpture class at UAlbany) |
Designed by the leading world expert on Cannibalism in Ancient Societies, Professor Kevin N. Supple*, and developed by the Soylent Corporation** in conjunction with the United States Department of Offense*** the Omnifork will redefine what it means to be an omnivore. Allowing the user to grab, stab, slice, dice, heat and eat any substance the Omnifork (code named the 04) is the greatest thing since the spork. Whether it’s wood, stone, flesh or bone the Omnifork effortlessly breaks it down into a nutrient rich, easily digestible paste which is fed directly into the user’s mouth.
Equip with a Concentrated Salivaic Acid Launcher and Rapid Infrared Heating Elements the Omnifork is capable of turning even the coldest, hardest steel into a “delicious stew”. Already a favorite among the Armed Forces the Omnifork’s versatility allows for its use in a wide range of applications such as combat, law enforcement, construction and waste management. Easy to use and perfect for people of all ages, the Omnifork comes in a variety of sizes and colors; children models are also available in various popular cartoon character themes.
It is projected that over 63% of Americans will own an Omnifork by the year 2015; by 2022 over 75% of people across the globe will own an Omnifork. Currently the Omnifork is unavailable to the public; however it is scheduled to be in stores across the nation in time for the 2011 Christmas Season. For more information about the Omnifork please visit our website at http://www.nomnomfood/omnifork.com or call 1-800-EAT-THEM and ask for a free brochure.
*(Kevin N. Supple) am not an expert on Cannibalism in Ancient Societies nor am I a professor.
**The Soylent Corporation is a fictional corporation from the film Soylent Green (1973). The Soylent Corporation is a producer of several food products the most notable of which being “soylent green” which is made from corpses.
***The United States Department of Offense had no part in the making of the Omnifork nor does this particular department exist.